Balancing Life

It’s difficult to do, especially when you want to live your life for God. You know it’s ridiculous how my mind gets so excited with the idea of starting to do daily quiet time and a change of attitude and such, but when it’s the moment to actually read the word and apply it to my life, there are so many excuses and blockage that stops me from doing so. Another part that’s sad is that I KNOW they are excuses, yet I don’t fight myself. “You have to fight for God.” And it sounds easy to do and say, but in reality it’s a struggle. Every day I live in shame because of the lack of attention and time I give to God. Every time I go to church I feel like a hypocrite and I sometimes I tell myself that I should seek for help, but whats there to seek when you already know the answer? God. It’s a heartache to know that I’m foolish enough to let myself go astray and use excuses like I’m too tired, I’ve been working too much, I’m too sleeping, or I avoid it and just go on with my life. How dare you, Milaine. How are you gallivanting around while knowing Jesus died for your debts and not giving your life in return?